If you find you are losing sight of your lover, that they are being obscured by big ‘Same Shit Different Day’ rocks, then grab them by the hand and run like fuck; back to passion, back to connection. But if it wasn’t all that great in the first place, let go. Just watch yourself out there and don’t say you weren’t warned.
What is ‘The Level’?
Before we talk about that, I just want you to consider the beginning of any romantic relationship you have encountered. Everything seems that little bit brighter; all your emotions seem florescent, pliable and delicate- like the strips of magnesium you got in Science class at school. That chemistry is the birth of passion in a relationship- when that definite connection between the emotional and physical happens, isn’t it magical? Of course it is, it’s why people continually put their faith in love and, even after multiple relationship failures, start it all again. Some burn brighter and longer, hotter than others- some barely achieve a spark.
Relationships are a craggy landscape, too difficult to pick out a specific track from a distance. If we simply acknowledge that, for the most-part, the beginning and end have the same signposting- high passion and crushing frustration. Sets of circumstances combined to create emotional responses; you are happy at the start of your relationship because it’s free and unburdened and at the end you are frustrated- balancing whatever shared burdens you have together just isn’t working out. Disappointment abounds, sexual distance caused by the fissures of an emotional chasm wreak havoc in the roots of your bond- and so, you’ve reached ‘The Level’. I look at poor bitches like Nigella, her husbands hand grasped tightly round her throat- spitting bile into her face. Is that level of contempt and disdain inevitable 3, 5, 10 years later? Even if it doesn’t turn to public violence.
It’s sad to think that at one time we’ve probably all thought love would be a walk in the park but the truth is it’s a hike, over a jagged landscape and people get separated. When you add in the pressures of marriage; women balancing domestic and work life, men struggling with self-conscious responsibility- added baggage on an already dangerous journey.
So to avoid, either separately or jointly, making the wrong turns that lead to the summit of ‘The Level’…Well, in truth, there is no way to avoid it- and you know that. You were never given a map to navigating a good relationship, nobody is, and if you are happy on your journey now it’s because you made a lot of wrong turns before now- you’ve become better at reading the signposts.
I’m happy now. I met someone amazing, who still thinks love is a walk in the park. We wallow in his fresh unbruised meadows of budding possibility and, to him, all my baggage is as light as air. So, I found a path back from life in the dark recesses of ‘The Level’, it’s possible. Good luck.